Not Militant

A dad called me about his four-year-old son. The kid was about to turn five, already playing football, already athletic. The dad wanted to sign him up for jiu-jitsu “to make him tougher.”

That part already was strange. Football’s already tough, even if it’s flag football. What exactly was missing?

I told him to bring his son in for a trial. He came with both kids—his son and an older daughter who looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. The boy looked curious, but the dad kept him in his chair to just watch.

After class, the dad came up and asked me a question I’d never heard before:

“This is cool, but do you have a class that’s a little more militant?”

Militant. His son isn’t even five years old.

I explained to him that no, this is what the program is. We don’t expect much from a kindergartener. At that age, the goal isn’t drilling them like soldiers. It’s just making sure they’re smiling when they leave. If they fall in love with training now, we can actually teach them later.

I gave him an example from that very class. I told the kids: “Use your right hand to grab your partner’s neck.” It sounds simple, but what did we see? Something else. And sometimes, that’s what it’s like teaching young children.

He didn’t sign up.

But I still think about that word. Militant. Because it showed me what some parents are looking for: instant toughness, instant results, instant change. And jiu-jitsu just doesn’t work like that.

It’s not militant. It’s patient.

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